Oprah I really think you should run for President in 2012. Maybe that’s the reason why you are ending this season so that you have time to start a campaign. I don’t know, it sounds good. I was speaking it into existence for her. I know a lot of black people who do not like her because ‘she doesn’t do enough for black people!’ You know what I say to that? She don’t owe none of yall shit! Stop expecting handouts all the damn time, that’s her money! When you stack your own chips up then splurge and make it rain on every black person you come across. Until then sit down somewhere!
With that being said, Oprah together with Tyler Perry did an earth breaking show where 200 men came on to talk about being sexually molested when they were children. The abusers were someone in the family that they lived with or someone who was a friend of the family which makes it easier for the molester because with kidz they assume that what their family do and say is bond, that family member can do no wrong and if they are doing this to them they start to think that maybe it is something that they are doing wrong. They know it’s wrong but they don’t want to turn in their family, the person who is taking care of them. This is a sick, sick epidemic. 1 in every 6 men is sexually assaulted! 1 out of 6! I cannot imagine going thru what these men have gone thru. I mean explicit acts. One man admitted that his molester would piss in his mouth! Another had been victimized by his biological father. When he finally admitted to his family (mama and sister) they did not believe him and accused him of trying to separate the family. To add injury to insult the mama stayed with the husband, his father. Was she that desperate to have a man? I hope that I will never have to be that low emotionally to take what is out there just to say that I have a man in the house even if it means he is molesting my kidz. I mean that is fucking with my two rules: 1) don’t fuck with my kidz and 2) don’t fuck with my money! Anyone who do they better have on some track shoes and can bob and weave nine millimeter bullets – no joke!
No one deserves this hell, not women, not men and especially not kidz! They did not ask to be put on this earth or to have the parents they did or the environment that they live in so why subject them to this kind of situation? Men are prideful creatures anyway. It’s hard for them to admit that they are wrong, that they are lost, or to open up and talk about their feelings and cry about the pain that they are feeling. I’ll admit I will tell my son whenever he falls or get his feelings hurt to suck it up, act like a man! I realize that with me saying this I’m setting him up to become this emotionless man who will bottle up his feelings. Something that simple could cause a lot of emotional confusion later on in life. I personally have been criticized for crying so much and so easily in my twenties so much that now I am numb to crying, I don’t cry unless it has to do with my kidz and even then I wait until they go to bed. I was taught to not let your kidz see you depressed or sad or mad because that is the right thing to do but is it really? Kidz see us as almost Godlike. we can do no wrong in their eyes which also means that when that child grows up and goes thru middle school or high school situations we will be the last people they would want to go to because they believe that we will not relate to them or feel where they are coming from. I built this monstrous unbreakable wall around me that no one could climb over or break and I know that’s what a lot of men do in situations where they have been molested.
‘It’s your fault!’
‘Ew, you’re gay cause you let a man rape you!’
‘Look you like it otherwise why are you hard?’
These statements easily flow out of peoples’ mouths once they hear about a man who has been molested. Now that this is coming out in the open maybe we as women can understand or start to understand why some men are distant, are themselves abusive not only to surrounding families but to themselves, why they become addicted to porn, sex, drugs, and alcohol. It’s all about communication among each other and most importantly – forgiveness; not for the abusers sake but for the abused. Holding that guilt along with shame is only giving the abuser power over the abused. It will not happen over night; it will take patience from the people around the abused. Take that power back so you can have your whole life, heart and soul back the way God intended you to be.
To the parents. As a mama I try to keep my eyes open for any odd behavior or sudden changes in moods or activities in my own kidz. I’m not a professional therapist, I don’t know all of the signs of a child that may be depressed or wanting to kill themselves but I keep my eyes open. All parents need to do the same; however, some parents did not read that memo. I don’t believe it when parents say they had no clue about the sexual abuse going on with their kidz. You are liars! You knew, you just chose not to look at the situation for what it is. I want to know what mirror they are looking in so I can buy them some real good Windex to clean it. I feel there should be a law passed where the parent who may not have did the abusive act but lived under the same roof of the child that was being abused should be thrown in jail. You know what they do to molesters in jail right? See how you like being sodomized, pissed on and raped. If they can arrest parents for allowing teens to drink in their homes or parents who has way too much time on their hands and spend a great amount of time on the internet pretending that they are teenagers and slandering high school teenagers thru cyber bullying, then they should do the same for parents who witness their child being abused.
Again, I applaud Oprah for not just having this type of show but opening up so many doors for communicating what needs to be addressed in order for society to be the best person they can be and giving resources to live life. She has served her purpose well and I know we will be hearing more from her even though her show is in its last season but hats off to her. Also if you are or know someone who has been molested please get some help. You are not alone and most importantly it’s not your fault. I have some links below that you can check out, what to look for in sexually abused children, how to comfort an abused child, what to do if you suspect a child is being abused and resources to help cope with the fact that you have been abused. Please, please, please get help. This tradition needs to stop!
Peace and Love!
A great article on wwwbvonlove.com on sexually abused men called ‘What If Your Man Was Sexually Abused?’
Unfortunately as I try and dig deeper in this subject I haven’t found too much info that is current. I need to change that apparently.