Trust Me….Your Kids Are Doing More Than Having Oral Sex!


Cover of "Looking For Alaska (Printz Awar...

Cover via Amazon

A YA novel is causing quite a controversy in some schools in Tennessee. No it’s not the 50 Shades of Gray joint although I’ve heard it’s being banned in several spots too. This novel is called Looking For Alaska and it’s about a boarding school in Alabama. Parents have demanded that the book be stripped from the school’s curriculum due to a two page oral sex scene. Here’s just a snippet of the scene,

We didn’t have sex. We never got naked. I never touched her bare breast and her hands never got lower than my hips. It didn’t matter. As she slept I whispered, “I love you Alaska Young.”

Do anything in that passage indicate oral sex play? You know it always amazes me when parents get the case of amnesia when they have kids. I don’t know how many times I had the discussion on sex and teens with other parents. The majority of them has conniptions if sex education is taught in schools or if condoms are given out in the nurses office, now novels? Let me say this parents just because you don’ say it doesn’t mean it don’t exist and if condoms are available it doesn’t mean it will make your child want to have sex. If your child is easily swayed like that then you need to look at yourself not a bowl of condoms, real talk. Get offended but it is what it is.

I’ve never wrote a YA novel and really do not plan to mainly for this reason; however I wanted to see if there are guidelines to writing that genre. I came upon a blog that gave me a brief def of the rules to YA novel writing and I must admit I’m surprised it is as loose as it is:

  • the age is 12 and above for the genre
  • any genre is fine and subject matter
  • the ‘edgy YA’ genre has more sexuality, abuse, mental illness, etc in it

She goes on to say that the sex act in itself should not be the focal point but a realistic plot so the story is more believable. I learned this from erotica Queen herself Zane recently that most people who write erotica make the whole book about the act itself instead of the character’s or the situations these character’s have to go thru. Sex is just the icing on the cake. That can be applied to any genre.

But back to banning this novel, this should be the last thing you’re worried about. Smartphones, tv networks (especially CW), and movies is what you need to be monitoring on top of friends of your kids. You should have taken this as a learning opportunity to talk to your kids about the subject, find out how much they know and if they have any questions. I’ve talked to my kids since a very young age and they are 13 and 8 right now. I would rather equip my kids with info on sex, contraceptives, emotions involved, STDs, pregnancy, self esteem etc so if they do decide to have sex they can’t say ‘well mama didn’t warn me that this could happen’. Of course I tell them I expect them to wait until marriage to have sex but I’m a realist; kids are having sex these days. So to all of the uptight, bougie parents get over yourself and open your mouths to your children before it’s too late.

Peace and luv!

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